I was out of place, and everything was wrong
I couldn’t bring myself to look down at him,
But I held his burned hand in mine,
The tears were dormant, sitting
under my bottom eyelid.
Shakingly his other hand came down
To rest on top of mine,
And I looked down at him.

He was so small, so young,
Here he was, too soon.
The light that shown in through the window
Did the scene no justice, no justice for this
Hellish pain in my heart, no justice for this
Dark, twisted scene, no justice for this
Young child, for whom the angels should
Have descended from the fucking heights to
Receive him in their arms, no justice, no justice.

His eyes, milky with clouds of ash that swam inside
Those once brown beautiful eyes, looked past me.
He struggled for a moment, to stay with me, to still be with me.
It had been too long though. I gingerly, sweetly, with all the love
I still had left, leaned down and kissed his forehead. He smiled.
He closed his eyes.

I cried, I was so angry, I stood up slowly, removing my hand.
My fists clenched so hard that my fingernails,  
Left unkempt for this whole time, cut into my palm.
I left the room, I couldn’t look into anyone's eyes.
I found his doctor, I told him what had happened.
He apologized to me, to me, I still can’t understand that,
But I would get used to it.

The drive to the hotel room was fast and reckless,
I got into the room and the first thing I did was break.
I broke the television and the remote and the lamp.
I broke the bathroom door and the hairdryer.
I broke.

I saw only the lights in his eyes as they faded.
I still felt the lights flickering across me as I stared, awestruck.
I turned off the lights.
Life goes on, for the doctors.
Life goes on, for me.
Life goes on, for everything he loved.
I closed my eyes, eventually, I slept.
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Sorry this is a downer, just felt I had to write this, doesn't mean it was easy on me.